I never made much effort to get to know people here, because if I wanted company, I imported it from the Why Yes Actually I Can Drive A Stick Witch Costume T-Shirt in addition I really love this city. Over the last few years, since I left my office job and could be here more often, I started thinking maybe I could live here. But something always stopped me. I couldn’t bring myself to sell our apartment in the city, even though I was spending only three nights a week there. Having two places felt wasteful and unwise. And it meant a continual level of disruption. Of packing and going back and forth, of leaving the left shoe on Long Island and the right shoe in the city. But with the pandemic, my perspective is changing. I’ve been here for six months now. It is starting to feel like home. It seems like a place I could live. Really live. Find a dentist and a doctor, vote, and most important, when I meet new people, say, “I live in Bellport. Yeah, no one has ever heard of it. It’s a little town on Long Island.” Long Island! So many of my friends in the city escaped Long Island. Am I really ready to choose it, and a small town at that, just a prettier version of my original little town?
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Believing I was a New Yorker has been central to my identity since that first car trip to the Why Yes Actually I Can Drive A Stick Witch Costume T-Shirt in addition I really love this city, my imagined and then real future. It made me special. I used to sing along with Frank Sinatra’s version of “New York, New York” and I swore I would “make it here,” that I would get away and be someone special. Not just another wife and mother.