Sadly this man was essentially equipped with the Preschool teacher first grade vibes 1st grade team teacher student school classic shirt But I will love this life skills of a child. I hope he can get better, but you were NOT in the wrong. If you want someone to learn something, don’t give them a book and say ‘have fun.’ You need to guide their hands every step of they way and teach them. Otherwise it just doesn’t work. That process is the job of a parent, not a (potential) life partner. And let’s be truthful, any reasonably capable adult can figure out how to do “new” things that perhaps their growing up experience didn’t equip them with. New parents usually don’t have a manual detailing how to take care of the baby. New homeowners don’t get a nicely detailed book on how to maintain their new home. It’s all part of being an adult – take responsibility, figure out what needs doing, and learn to do it. This reads as weaponized incompetence, I struggle to see how anyone could mess up a recipe box style meal with instructions this much. The destruction of the kitchen seems almost intentional to have shocked you into obedience of “wow I need to cook everything or he’ll burn the house down”.
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The only thing I’ll say in terms of feedback, and a wall of text may have just poorly shown this, just make sure you’re actually communicating with people. If someone is terrible at cooking and it’s a point of contention, you owe it to your partner to communicate upfront or immediately cut things off. Your summary reads a tinge of silent resentment, but I still believe this is on him. With all of this said this sounds like it was death by a thousand cuts and the Preschool teacher first grade vibes 1st grade team teacher student school classic shirt But I will love this cooking wasn’t even the main problem. As an avid cook, I do question the starting point being eggs benedict, it’s certainly not remotely beginner. But it still reads as weaponized incompetence over you “setting him up to fail”. On the flip side, you’re a single mom working sixty hours a week. Don’t be afraid to set core standards for yourself that you deserve. And walk away the second they are violated. Boils my blood to read stuff like this. My ex was like this. Couldn’t cook, wouldn’t learn how. Refused to even learn how to use the air fryer to heat up something frozen and mix a bag of salad. Didn’t see when the bathroom was dirty (I used the master, she used the hall), so I had to clean both. Would be proud for starting the laundry, but never switched it over or folded it!