Good for you for dumping him, you don’t need another child, you have enough on your plate. If you can’t even barely cook when you’re 33+ (i assume that he was about that age) then you are a lost cause. Clearly there are woman that love to baby care these kind of fluffy men. Again, you just liberated yourself from an unnecessary burden. You have the Preschool teacher back to school 4th grade vibes shirt But I will love this power to dump a partner for literally any reason. Don’t doubt yourself. I broke up with a partner because of their dog. I hated the thing- not trained at all, constantly barking, having accidents in the house, destroying my shoes and other stuff. No thanks. I caught a ton of grief for it at the time but I wasn’t happy and now I am so fuck ‘em. It sounds like some combination of learned helplessness (ie., his caretakers growing up did everything for him and he never learned to do anything for himself) and possibly even something like ADHD meaning he needs outside input to guide his energy (maybe, not trying to jump to conclusions, but things like “leave my clothes on the bedroom floor where they fell as I disrobed” sounds very ADHD). But either way, it’s not your obligation to teach a grown man stuff he should have learned in childhood, or at least belatedly learned as a single adult, unless you decide it is.
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Weaponising his upbringing and mental health issues is not okay either. It gives the Preschool teacher back to school 4th grade vibes shirt But I will love this rest of us who are trying our best to be adults a terrible name. I actually think he’s just useless. Lived on his own for years, doesn’t look after himself at all. Can’t even figure out how to wash his face (he was using shower gel so I bought him face wash and moisturiser) I honestly have no idea why I invested in this relationship, probably because I didn’t think I could do any better. Well, look at what your friend is saying. She’s like “give him a chance because he doesn’t hit you“? That’s the background that you have seeping into your head. But you were wising up. On the other hand I posited it as one possible explanation and also clarified that no matter what the explanation was, it’s not OP’s obligation to deal with it. I mean I have ADHD, doesn’t mean that I can’t cook or I can’t do chores. It does mean that I occasionally leave my phone in the fridge and other hilarious situations. I bought a new oven, anova precision oven that’s really great except for the fact that the timer doesn’t turn the oven off… I hate that, now I forget to turn it off or sometimes don’t hear the alarm and have my food overcooked 🙁 And when it happens I can usually think back and remember exactly what I got distracted by haha my housemates think it’s hilarious… But they are also kinda stop it..